CD review STEEL PANTHER ‘Heavy Metal Rules’

(7/10) ‘Sex Sells’ a standard slogan and in case of Steel Panther it’s exactly what happened over the last years. The quartet from Los Angeles became in no time one of the hottest acts in Rock. Their overdone Sleaze Rock parody made them to the talk of town, leading to the debut entering charts in quite some countries. ‘Lower the Bar’ was the so far most successful release of the quartet and it’s the next longplayer aiming for a continuation of this winning streak.

‘Heavy Metal Rules’ is a promising title for a longplayer, raising expectations even more. Now, there is no doubt that Heavy Metal rules, but it unfortunately doesn’t apply for the entire new Steel Panther album.

There are some eargasm songs present on ‘Heavy Metal Rules’ and one of them is the opener ‘All I Wanna Do is Fuck (Myself Tonight)’. The hooks of this Hard Rock hymn are well-done and after having heard the song once you don’t get it out of your mind. ‘Fuck Everybody’ is another winner that should be played at any good party, but there’s another side too.

Next to the few highlights there’s a lot of musical idle. Standard material such as the title track and ‘Sneaky Little Bitch’ are uninspired and off the shelf. The only stimulation you get with these songs is to press the ‘Forward’-button.

Last but not least it’s the running time being another downer. 37 minutes, incl. an intro called ‘Zebraman’, a sample from the ‘Heavy Metal Parking Lot’-movie, isn’t a lot. The short running time could be excused if every song would be a smasher, but it’s not.

‘Heavy Metal Rules’ might lead to commercial success since sex sells, but boiling things down to the essence brings an average Rock record to surface. Hopefully Michael, Lexxi, Stix and Satchel will find their inspiration again in the near future and until then it’s better to listen to some of the earlier releases or visit one of the live shows.



  1. Zebraman
  2. All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
  3. Let’s Get High Tonight 
  4. Always Gonna Be A Ho
  5. I’m Not Your Bitch
  6. Fuck Everybody
  7. Heavy Metal Rules
  8. Sneaky Little Bitch
  9. Gods Of Pussy
  10. I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling

Label: Steel Panther Inc./The Orchard

Genre: Sleaze Rock

Release Date EU: September 27th, 2019



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