Review COLD SLITHER “Cold Slither”

Cold Slither is an interesting project because it brings a fictional band to life. Reigning Phoenix Music has teamed up with Hasbro to make the band a reality, bringing them out of the G.I. Joe universe and into the real world. Zartan, Ripper, Torch and Buzzer have suddenly launched a real album full of thunderous metal tracks.

Cold Slither includes musicians from bands such as Gruesome and Exhumed. Gus Rios (Vocals/Guitar;, Gruesome, Union Black, Left To Die), Matt Harvey (Guitars; Exhumed, Gruesome, Left To Die), Ross Sewage (Bass; Exhumed, Impaled) and Andy Selway (Drums; KMFDM) are the people behind the toy characters. And what do metalheads get on their plate? Pure heavy metal.

Besides the unusual background of this release, it is the music that is convincing. Cold Slither delivers excellent metal with an ’80s vibe that roars powerfully out of the speakers.

This album is a debut, and it starts with an intro called “Welcome to the Swamp”. This creepy intro features distorted spoken words that set the scene for the album while referencing the cartoon origins of the project.

The title track is the first proper song and gives an idea of what Cold Slither sound like. The best way to describe what we hear is heavy rock meets heavy metal, and due to a very solid melody line, “Cold Slither” immediately captivates us. Next is the heavily pounding “Knock ‘Em Dead”, another catchy metal song that doesn’t compromise on heaviness.

With “Torch”, the band moves into thrash metal territory. It is the most aggressive track on the album — a real headbanger. The throbbing “Master of Disguise” is more moderate in pace. It is a pounding metal track that fuses melodic vocals and powerful riffs.

A well-placed distraction is provided by the album’s calmer moment, “The Ballad of Buzzer”, which also highlights the range of this release. An alternative rock touch has been added to “The Ballad of Buzzer”, and there are undoubtedly a few clichés present. However, the entire project is different from that of a conventional band, so the frame can be kept a bit wider, too.

As with the closer, “These Fluffies Are Fatal”, some spoken word samples have been integrated to emphasise the link to the source of inspiration. Overall, though, “Cold Slither” is an entertaining heavy metal release. These eleven songs are pure fun to listen to. This release is a bold project — a collaboration between two companies who tried to create something special, and I guess they succeeded.